Acceptance: A Memoir

Acceptance: A Memoir

Book by Emi Nietfeld

 


DETAILS


Publisher : Penguin Press (August 2, 2022) Language : English Hardcover : 368 pages ISBN-10 : 0593489470 ISBN-13 : 978-0593489475 Item Weight : 1.34 pounds Dimensions : 6.38 x 1.2 x 9.54 inches Best Sellers Rank: #49,593 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #18 in Sociology Books on Abuse #459 in Women's Biographies #1,582 in Memoirs (Books) , “Nietfeld’s gifts for capturing the fury of living at the mercy of bad circumstances, for critiquing the hero’s journey even while she tells it, make Acceptance a remarkable memoir.” — The New York Times Book Review A luminous, generation-defining memoir of foster care and homelessness, Harvard and Big Tech, examining society’s fixation with resilience—and its cost As a homeless teenager writing college essays in her rusty Toyota Corolla, Emi Nietfeld was convinced that the Ivy League was the only escape from her dysfunctional childhood. But upward mobility required crafting the perfect resilience narrative. She had to prove that she was an “overcomer,” made stronger by all that she had endured. The truth was more complicated. Emi’s mom was a charming hoarder who had her put on antipsychotics but believed in her daughter’s brilliance—unlike the Minnesotan foster family who banned her “pornographic” art history flash cards (of Michelangelo’s David ). Emi’s other parent vanished shortly after coming out as trans, a situation few understood in the mid-2000s. Her own past was filled with secrets: mental health struggles, Adderall addiction, and the unbecoming desperation of a teenager fending for herself. And though Emi would go on to graduate from Harvard and become a software engineer at Google, she found that success didn’t necessarily mean safety. Both a chronicle of the American Dream and an indictment of it, this searing debut exposes the price of trading a troubled past for the promise of a bright future. Told with a ribbon of dark humor, Acceptance challenges our ideas of what it means to overcome—and find contentment on your own terms. Read more

 


REVIEW


What I love about memoirs is not just the "what happened" but the "how" and the "why," the accumulation of actions, reactions, and emotional machinations that get a person from one place to another. In "Acceptance" Emi Nietfeld describes her difficult childhood in psych wards, in foster care, sleeping in her car, and on other people's couches. Her mother was a hoarder and there was literally not enough room for Nietfled to sleep in the house. Throughout it all, Nietfeld clung to her dreams of going to college. Her studies pulled her forward and she ended up getting an "acceptance" to Harvard. This memoir really got me thinking about love despite dysfunction and/or dysfunction despite love. Her relationship with both her mother and father was complicated to say the least. We see Nietfeld's inner strength, her work ethic, and her missteps, as well. We are reminded in these pages that acceptance is a multifaceted concept involving both forces outside ourselves and forces from within. This story is riveting, painful, and inspiring. I highly recommend.

 


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