Untamed
Book by Glennon Doyle
DETAILS
Publisher : The Dial Press; Later Printing edition (March 10, 2020) Language : English Hardcover : 352 pages ISBN-10 : 1984801252 ISBN-13 : 978-1984801258 Item Weight : 3.53 ounces Dimensions : 5.8 x 1.28 x 8.45 inches Best Sellers Rank: #602 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #11 in Women's Biographies #12 in Happiness Self-Help #30 in Memoirs (Books) , #1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • OVER TWO MILLION COPIES SOLD! “Packed with incredible insight about what it means to be a woman today.”—Reese Witherspoon (Reese’s Book Club Pick) In her most revealing and powerful memoir yet, the activist, speaker, bestselling author, and “patron saint of female empowerment” ( People ) explores the joy and peace we discover when we stop striving to meet others’ expectations and start trusting the voice deep within us. NAMED ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY O: The Oprah Magazine • The Washington Post • Cosmopolitan • Marie Claire • Bloomberg • Parade • “ Untamed will liberate women—emotionally, spiritually, and physically. It is phenomenal. ”—Elizabeth Gilbert, author of City of Girls and Eat Pray Love This is how you find yourself. There is a voice of longing inside each woman. We strive so mightily to be good: good partners, daughters, mothers, employees, and friends. We hope all this striving will make us feel alive. Instead, it leaves us feeling weary, stuck, overwhelmed, and underwhelmed. We look at our lives and wonder: Wasn’t it all supposed to be more beautiful than this? We quickly silence that question, telling ourselves to be grateful, hiding our discontent—even from ourselves. For many years, Glennon Doyle denied her own discontent. Then, while speaking at a conference, she looked at a woman across the room and fell instantly in love. Three words flooded her mind: There She Is . At first, Glennon assumed these words came to her from on high. But she soon realized they had come to her from within. This was her own voice—the one she had buried beneath decades of numbing addictions, cultural conditioning, and institutional allegiances. This was the voice of the girl she had been before the world told her who to be. Glennon decided to quit abandoning herself and to instead abandon the world’s expectations of her. She quit being good so she could be free. She quit pleasing and started living. Soulful and uproarious, forceful and tender, Untamed is both an intimate memoir and a galvanizing wake-up call. It is the story of how one woman learned that a responsible mother is not one who slowly dies for her children, but one who shows them how to fully live. It is the story of navigating divorce, forming a new blended family, and discovering that the brokenness or wholeness of a family depends not on its structure but on each member’s ability to bring her full self to the table. And it is the story of how each of us can begin to trust ourselves enough to set boundaries, make peace with our bodies, honor our anger and heartbreak, and unleash our truest, wildest instincts so that we become women who can finally look at ourselves and say: There She Is . Untamed shows us how to be brave. As Glennon insists: The braver we are, the luckier we get. Read more
REVIEW
I didn't start to love this book until I got to the last few chapters which give us some anecdotes about Glennon Doyle's and Abby Wambach's marriage and the three children they are raising together. This is where I felt truly at home. I'm very interested in family interactions. Most of the stories are positive and give the impression of a healthy and happy family. I found myself amazed that Glennon and Abby and her ex-husband and his new girlfriend and the children seemed to blend together well. Almost all of the first half of the book was boring for me, and I had to force my way through it. I found it too pie in the sky. Glennon Doyle longs for everything to be beautiful--herself, her family, and the entire world. She has a very idealistic view of life. I wondered if I should compare what she wrote in these chapters to an episode on the TV program Frasier. I was thinking that this would be mean. But I have to be honest. Frasier falls for a beautiful, sweet, shapely woman who writes inspirational best sellers. But he finds her books to be filled with platitudes. His short-lived romance doesn't end well. I felt as though I were reading one greeting card after another in a way. So much information about becoming one's authentic, true self. Too much for me! "Will we be brave enough to unlock ourselves?" "Will we be brave enough to set ourselves free?" I'm a 74-year-old widow with an empty nest. I'm free. But I'm wondering what all this liberation talk does for women who may not be abused or cheated on, but may not always feel completely happy with marriage and family life. Are we all really supposed to leave a situation simply because it's not always completely fulfilling? This book is a combination memoir/advice manual. It's as though she's saying, "I divorced my husband and am now married to a woman, the love of my life--maybe you can do it too!" Okay, maybe not quite. I have to admit that a letter she received puzzled me a bit. A woman wrote that she loved Glennon's advice to be true to yourself (I'm paraphrasing) and that she was glad to report that she had the courage to leave her husband. She was now living with her two children in her mother's home. Now if this woman was being abused or cheated on, this would be a good thing. But there were no details. Even if authors have revealed things about their lives in previous memoirs, they often have to do this again in a new memoir for the sake of the people who haven't read the previous ones. I remember reading about Glennon's bulimia and alcoholism in one of her other books. This could be tedious for some people who have read her other books. Actually it was fairly interesting for me since her stories provided some much needed drama when there are so many pages where absolutely nothing is happening--when she's writing about the importance of getting the true self to emerge. I hadn't remembered that her bulimia began at age 10 so this was both shocking and interesting to me. The second portion of the book was also tedious for me. This section is on global responsibility. She writes about the charitable organization she heads up--Together Rising, what she is doing to combat racism, and her beliefs about the ways we fail to raise both boys and girls properly. I've been around for a while. I grew up in the fifties and sixties when the civil rights and women's rights groups were just beginning. I've heard it all. There was one part of the book that made me angry. I was yelling at the book. She'd been accused on social media of being phony--that she hadn't really admitted that she had vestiges of racism in her due to growing up in a racist society. She should be admitting this and actively purging herself of every trace of racism. I thought--here is a person who is trying her best to understand, and she's vilified. I don't think I would have gone back to the group of activists who criticized her, but she is more determined than ever to measure up to the ideals. Now one of the reasons this strikes me as particularly ironic is that she is sick to death of evangelical Christianity and their rules, rules, rules. She still clings to Christianity because she loves the fact that Jesus defended the disadvantaged and downtrodden. But the Bible and preachers who are obsessed with the letter of the law make her sick. I understand (I'm no longer a Christian). But it seems that she has replaced this with a letter of the law attitude in regard to racism. She's determined to do better. Determined to examine herself and find those vestiges of racism which exist and purge them. Where is the fairness here? Did she ask the Black people if they had any vestiges of racism in regard to the White community? She can be so intense! I found myself feeling almost sorry for her--she's so busy writing her books, working for justice, dealing with a new marriage, and raising three children. Some of the things she has done are truly inspiring--the rescue efforts she has been involved in with the illegal immigrants' children who were separated from their parents is amazing, and I'll admit that I wasn't even aware that there was a grass roots organization doing such work. Good for them! As I said, I love the last few chapters of the book where we can read more about her family life, and her wife Abby finally comes alive in these chapters. Up until this part, the reader is left to wonder what Abby is like other than very tall! There aren't that many family stories, and some of them revolve around sports. I found myself cherishing the few personal things she wrote. There's a nice paragraph about sex beginning with "I love sex with Abby." Nothing explicit which is understandable. Discretion is a good thing. But I could feel the joy when I read that paragraph. Some of the reviewers have said that her children are almost too good, and I agree. But it wouldn't be right to air dirty laundry, either. This book started out one star in my opinion and worked its way up to three and a half stars maybe. There were both nuggets and platitudes and quite a bit of repetition.
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